You know, I started taking pole dancing classes because every single audition I did where I had to be “sexy” failed. Seriously. I bombed. Feedback was terrible. I felt awkward, it showed, and my performance was horrendous. 7 weeks later I can say that I definitely feel more confident in this area. I had a callback on Inherent Vice (Paul Thomas Anderson’s new movie) where I was a massage parlor worker and had to ooze sexiness. I did great! I didn’t get the part, but for once, my performance as a sexual being wasn’t completely cringe worthy. It was finally believable!
I’ve talked publicly about my pole dancing classes and have had several anonymous strangers on the internet call me an attention whore, a slut, a stripper, etc. When in reality, I’m just really proud that I’m able to do something really challenging and beautiful and fun and sexy. I’m so happy with my growth as a performer that I don’t even care! Call me a slut all you want, internet, but I’m doing this in a safe environment with tons of other girls who are aiming to feel better about themselves and their bodies. So what’s wrong with that? What’s wrong with being proud and wanting to share it with the world?
So if you’ve ever wanted to take a class, or do something challenging or scary, I really encourage you to. “Sexy” was always some strange mystical trait that I felt like I’d never have. Feeling confident and in touch with my body was one of my biggest struggles as an actor. So what do we do? We DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.
No one else is going to help you jump your hurdles. No one else will magically make you feel what you’ve been lacking. You’re the only one who can push yourself to get over what feels weird, to conquer your fear and anxiety. For me, that was being sexy. That was being feminine and not afraid to show it.
So don’t let your embarrassments or the trolls get to you. Get out there and work it.